I am a “Love Island UK” viewer first and a human being second. My conquests over every episode past seasons 1-3 (which are unwatchable) and the elite seasons (4-7, which are fantastic) accumulate with the unmatchable perfection of season 4.
There are such dynamic islanders and massive upsets: it’s my go-to recommendation for the numerous friends that I force to watch this show, and it’s never once failed. With the magical hyperbole of this season’s progression, it’s only natural that I finally get my thoughts out on paper in order to finally spare my loved ones from anymore of my late night heretical ramblings about people they’ve never even seen and relationships they have to count out on their fingers. Delve into the cobwebs of my hamster-powered mind as we dissect the best and worst couples of the best season of Love Island.
~S-TIER~
- KENDALL X NIALL
Kendall and Niall were literally perfect: Kendall was reserved, looking for love, and hesitant– Niall was reserved, looking for love, and impulsive. It was the dream! Until… Adam. This article will serve as a venting space for me to air my grievances with Adam’s actions throughout this series, so prepare yourself, because if you’re an Adam fan, flee and reconsider. Kendall definitely wasn’t into it, and the fact that everyone was super surprised when Adam chose her proves to me that they barely talked and Adam is just a weirdo. I’m sure Adam’s a cool guy: that’s the classic part of reality TV, it makes you seem like the bad guy in the blink of an eye. But Adam is the definition of a home-wrecker, except he’s the entire demolition crew for his own million-dollar mansion.
- JOSH X KAZ
I am human, so I usually veer towards rooting for the scorned lover; however, Georgia annoyed me, and Josh and Kaz were way more entertaining than Josh and Georgia. Also, the drama was absolutely delectable. As a fourteen-year-old watching the Casa Amor re-coupling for the first time in my tiny life all those years ago, I have rarely since felt that overwhelming emotion of true and utter sadism as I watched Georgia’s reaction unfold. Truly inspiring.
- WES AND MEGAN
And I know I just said I usually root for the scorned lover, but Megan and Wes were actually so cute. They both matured within their relationship without the pressure of handling each other’s expectations, and they were also both some of the most attractive people in the villa, so it felt like a universal correction shifting into place.
~A-TIER~
- DANI X JACK
Dani and Jack were fun, comfy, and they definitely deserved to win; however, they just cannot be S-Tier with how much drama Dani got into by just weighing in on situations that had literally nothing to with her. It was always very middle school, and it annoyed me a little whenever they would fight, but not because I was like “omg I hope they work it out,” but because she’s from Essex and he’s from Kent: it’s like listening to a bowl rattle back and forth trying to wobble to a stop after being dropped on the floor.
- GEORGIA X JOSH
Any couple that Georgia’s in is bound to be interesting to watch, but the Casa Amor betrayal of the season has not (in my opinion) been matched to this day, and I credit this entirely to Georgia. But while they were together, they were sweet and balanced each other well, so here they are in A-Tier.
- NIALL X GEORGIA
I always really liked Niall and was sad to see him leave, but he and Georgia had a fun vibe and bounced off each other well. The worst couples are the ones you can barely watch without wanting to swallow your own ear, but then they go into the confessional and talk about how great they get along, and that was the complete opposite of Georgia and Niall, so RIP this dynamic coupling.
- LAURA X PAUL
I wasn’t a fan of Laura’s couples throughout most of the show because of the age differences, but Paul was a nice cool and age appropriate match for a fiery and almost thirty-year-old Laura, so I’m sticking it up in A-Tier.
- FRANKIE X SAMIRA
There’s always one boy and one girl that never finds love. It’s inevitable. This season, it was Alex and Samira; however, all I wanted was for Samira to be happy. Frankie was that final straw for me, and when he left her behind, I was devastated. They could’ve been in the final four, easy.
~B-TIER~
- HAYLEY X CHARLIE
Oh, Charlie and Hayley. The -imbos of the season, and beloved in my heart of hearts. They made me laugh, they made me smile. Heck, they got a chuckle out of me just by standing next to each other. Delightful, easy, truly an iconic couple with a hilarious and on-brand ending, down to their final interviews.
- HAYLEY X EYAL
Oh, Eyal and Hayley. See above. A match made in heaven, doomed from the start, and truly iconic.
- EYAL X MEGAN
Eyal and Megan were the it-couple of the season. They look so expensive together, like I could genuinely imagine seeing them linking arms on the red carpet and looking scandalous. They were also just a low-pressure couple. Just a couple of hot people dating hot people: what more could you ask for?
- LAURA X JACK
See the paragraph about Charlie and Hayley. Just a couple of -imbos hanging out and being hot. Laura did low-key deserve better, but it was fun while it lasted.
~C-TIER~
- ALEX AND ALEXANDRA
After the lie detector challenge, it just felt kind of forced. I don’t think they should’ve made it past the top five, but they were pretty harmless so I won’t slander them.
- GEORGIA X SAM
Again, Georgia was very entertaining, but I felt so bad for Sam the entire time, especially after the Christmas reunion. I know it’s probably over-hyped for TV, but I kind of wanted Sam to find someone else. However, the whole sitch with the Island Club has to be the most funny television I’ve ever seen.
- ALEX X GRACE
Alex and Grace were pretty solid, but if you were in a couple with Alex, you were bound to leave within the week. She seemed nice, and bless her for giving people haircuts, but this couple was very underwhelming.
- STEPHANIE X JOSH
Stephanie and Josh are pretty forgettable. Didn’t love ‘em, didn’t hate ‘em. They got to be on TV for like a week. Good for them!
- LAURA X WES
Laura and Wes actually surprised me in a lot of ways. I thought they were locked in for the rest of the series, but no! Their split was a genuine surprise to me, and while I was a little sad at first, I really wasn’t a fan of the age gap so I really think it was for the best.
- LAURA X JACK
This couple was okay, but I felt so bad for Laura when he decided to split. She really went through it that entire time, and I just wanted her to end up with literally anyone.
- SAMIRA X SAM
Samira deserved to find someone that was obsessed with her, and while I liked watching their friendship grow, I was disappointed for Samira. She deserved better!
~D-TIER~
- ADAM X DARYLLE
Darylle seemed cool, and this relationship was too new to put in F, but Adam will never rise above D. That man was a menace, adonis and all.
- ALEX X ELLIE
Like most of the Alex couples, they seemed forced and I could totally see how Ellie would feel pressure to stay with him with everyone watching their relationship so closely, but I still felt a little bad for Alex at that point.
- ALEX X SAMIRA
I just got sick of seeing them together day after day. They were good friends, it was fun, they had a laugh, but Alex literally should’ve gone home so much earlier: man never tried past two conversations.
- ELLIE X CHARLIE
Ellie and Charlie were so cute until the Christmas reunion. The male gender is based upon crumbling foundations, and the fact that he cheated nearly brought the institution tumbling down. Ellie may have gotten into random drama, but she 100% deserved so much better.
- ALEX X MEGAN
Alex literally gave me the worst vibe. Something about him was just off to me, and it didn’t help that I was screaming at the TV, hoping for her to choose to stay single. Wes and her were just too good, and Alex just made me uncomfortable by being on my screen.
- ELLIE X SAM
Ellie’s presence was just a flop in terms of the show’s intent, and she and Sam felt super random and kind of out of desperation, like they needed her to go back to the main villa so she could meet Dani. They just weren’t an interesting couple.
~F-TIER~
This tier belongs to Adam, and I have absolutely no regrets in doing so. A danger in the villa, a fitness influencer in the outside world. Interchangeable terms in my eyes.
- KENDALL X ADAM
I HATED this moment. No one expected it, but I was not excited by it at all. The fact that Kendall was as surprised as everyone else indicates that he didn’t talk to her much beforehand, and I feel like it was a weird and manipulative move to tell no one any intent whatsoever, only to dodge to someone that made it clear that she was happy in her couple. AND THEN HE JUST DUMPED HER. RIDICULOUS. Kendall, I hope you are happy and living a wonderful, fulfilling life.
- ROSIE X ADAM
With fairness to Rosie, I would like to say that I live by the principle that if you were the other woman, you will be other woman-ed. However, I condone none of his actions, and Rosie seemed genuinely and rightfully hurt by him, to which he responded with the emotional maturity of a fifth grader and the smile of a little jerk. Conviction is appropriate for the way he handled that entire situation.
- ZARA X ADAM
Poor Zara. Girl thought she could change him, make him treat women less scummy. She fell prey to his eerie charm and his slippery Newcastle accent, both of which I will never understand. I actually felt so bad for her when he chose to get to know Daryll despite going through all of that with Zara, even though I had just felt bad for Rosie and Kendall. These poor girls were all wronged. A menace, this man! A menace, I say!
***
If you have read this, or even skipped to the end, know this: my loved ones are so grateful that they will likely never have to hear me rant about this again, now that I’ve expressed most of my thoughts. “Love Island” is an institution, a social experiment that sociologists will study endlessly, and one of the best shows I have ever seen.
Season 7 has been tumultuous, but they as long as there are a bunch of hot dumb people spending 24 hours a day with each other on television, I will watch. Even if they’re Australian (I may even start the US one soon). Maybe someday, I’ll delve into my thoughts on my second favorite season, season 6, but for now, I’ll bask in the freedom of finally expressing my thoughts on the best season so far.