There’s so many little galaxies in my stomach colliding so I can’t sleep
Or I’ll miss all these celestial epochs
Stars enter through my ears in this warm, turning air and the room of a teenage girl becomes a nursery of a premature epic explosion
That may shatter her own life or leave her forever ashamed
Or more heavenly than ever before
By the light of the moon,
That’s what scares her most
A function approaches a certain point
Where it must delve further and further down
It gets closer to the hinge of the joint
Some number the function attempts to drown
*
Into decimals, fractions, tiniest
Into pieces of grains of sand scattered
Always nearing the point that’s shiniest
Function always infinitely battered
*
As this protocol approaches something
It doesn’t quite know where it is heading
It unfurls and unravels, becoming
Unrecognizable, factors shedding
*
A limit approaching is a limit
Delving into itself minute by minute.
Dialogue of a spiral first started
As two men thought, what is episteme?
What is knowledge? Is it what our heart said?
What is knowledge? Is it but what we see?
*
Is it but what our heart and eyes tell us?
God, it’s none of these things so what is it?
I face judgement of their hearts and optics,
But will trying to understand help this?
*
Theaetetus, I think I’ll be dismissed
I’ve said much more impious things before
But the dissatisfaction may persist
In what composes the art of our lore.
*
Oh spiral of Theodorus, please know
You were born of nothing more than our throe.
DERIVATIVES
You better believe that to derive
Is to take in hand the things that survive
A root from the main tree
Is all that it can be
A measure of change that swan dives
NATURAL LOG AND E
Ellen and E are warring siblings
A number under the curve or the base of buildings
They never agree
To one do they see
When combined into fillings
OPTIMIZATION
To optimize is to bring about
The best of the best without a doubt
Though within it, there’s few
We’ll be sure to make do
Till the sun rises throughout
INTEGRATION
If you want to integrate, listen to me
Sum up the whole of the parts, so weird it must seem
But rather than expand
Just trace back the land
Find everything that leads to she
INT and DER
Int and Der are forbidden to see
Despite how much love ther is for thee
To spiral or sink
In love at the brink
No option is there to be
ISAAC NEWTON
They say the apple falls short of the tree
Though Newton seems to disagree
If it hits your head
The story’s all said
To be different in numbers and fleas
RATE OF CHANGE
Quantities keep changing from one to another
Divided by some value of the change in some other
The function will grow
And the input will show
The rate at which it recovers
Calculus, oh my dear, sweet melody
You derive and integrate to bring forth
The mystery of movement’s elegy
Not the compass rose, only slightly north
*
My darling, my divine you will never
Never know, never see, never take in
That movement into math is not all there
But dearest, please, take it all on the chin
*
You cannot quantify this great abstract
Movement in math will never be enough
The analogue is more than to distract
This superarchaic world of rebuff
*
The percussion of this great, beastly earth
You may deign calculus, my sweetest dearth
Anything can be connected if you
Try desperately to look within and see.
Many things are variables without clue,
Some remain stagnant in a lifelong spree.
*
Two things, people change beside each other;
Not quite at the same speed but changing still,
Diff’rent rates that connect diff’rent brothers.
Time remains the same, both climbing that hill.
*
There always could be more connected things
Though most often it tends to be just two.
A duet of related rates singing
An eerie yet jaunty, congruent tune.
*
These parallel, celestial bodies
Forever connected as normal knees.
In the case of plus C, C is not real.
Well, it’s real, but not really something, see?
You’ve got to tack it on to ev’ry deal,
Like thank you or a handshake or a please.
*
It’s not, like, fake, it’s just necessary.
An acknowledgement of arbitrary!
A constant filled with nothing, quite airy,
But there all the same, needless to bury.
*
We can define it, can choose what it means
But it must be there or the sum is moot.
It must stay empty, for some number’s genes.
But it will be there, capital and brute.
*
C by nature is undefinable;
Still, doesn’t need to be assignable.
Pardon my blasphemy for just a sec
But ratios don’t exist without us
For if there’s nobody there, not a spec,
Then nary ratios shall be discussed.
*
Sine, cosine, tangent, and their inverses
As long as we brains persist as well
Will always exist though some in verses
Even if there’s nothing than us to dwell.
*
As long as there’s something to be compared.
(Black and white, humans and the void are some)
Then me to you and side to side will bare
As these strings of dimensions somehow hum.
*
Until there’s nothing to place next to
And a singularity as all through.
Where am I?
You are in this terrible place that we go when we perish at the hands of our glorious creator. The imaginations of the future on blank pages.
And so we are of the same matter?
Precisely the same. I by my lover and you by another.
A mother.
Indeed.
How terrifying the masculine hand can be.
I’m not afraid of them because I think they’re masterminds. They’re not and they hold these precious things in their hands and they cover them in grease and dirt and they break them and they’re cruel.
And so we precious things meet our fates in exchange for their tragedy. For nothing, for they meet their deaths soon after. Senseless, and yet profound beyond this final resting place. I should have done more.
Did you ever imagine it? Doing more in defense?
I’m more hesitant to answer what is my guiltiest fantasy than whether or not I’ve killed someone.
And for them, those two often coincide. Should the ground not swallow them whole? And we’d exist beyond delicacy.
Gods only live as long as their peoples, and so we exist at least on this page. They exist on several.
At the feminine hand of a savior, for we speak for a moment in this blank space.
When I’m around people for too long their voices won’t leave me, those looming figures that conspired in my death. Obedience is both a death sentence and a buoy as a woman.
We are all a trillion lonely maggots held together by twine that wait for a man to pull our cords. I wish we were born in womanly or sapphic ink.
Gawain so valent
So esteemed and so true
So true that he faulted
And repented so blue
His cowl proven to be
Protector of a head not
Ruled by the heart
Morgan le Fay grants him leave
And yet isn’t it wonderful
When women are the problem?
When men create problems
And make women solve them?
When she obeys men and
Forsakes them too
A man is the hero but
Women make them fools
All of them were betrayed
By women they knew
Though a fool he is now made
Some excuse, he thinks, is due
I, me, say this
With as much bitterness
That I can muster
In this putrid circling mist
What do men know of good
Of love, and smiles and eyes
And their crescent toppers
Of anything other than lies
Of warmth and anaphylaxis and skin
Of peace and women not used as tools
For your fruitless morality
And not what tips the scales or rules
You will never have to beg
A woman for love, no hurdles,
But to please her
Gives the wrist a green girdle
Solomon after Delilah
David after Bathsheba
All we are to you are sins
Prove your nasty point, you liar
There’s longing in her heart
There’s desperation in her eyes
What a lovely pair of pairs
A knight on Gringolet, a cowl of lies
I wrote this about Lady Bertilak because when I was reading Gawain, I was kind of annoyed that the test of his morality hinged on whether or not a woman could be happy, which felt kind of unfair because she was a pawn in a trick to see if some rando would do the right thing. There didn’t even need to be a challenge in the first place, and if the highest form of valor is not sleeping with some random guy’s wife, send me a horse and knight me on the spot. Why should an innocent woman have to throw herself at a guy just to see if he’ll do something? That had to have messed her up somehow, being used for a scheme. I don’t know, it just made me stop short because they said that whole line where OF COURSE WOMEN LEAD EVERYONE ASTRAY SO I THINK SOME CREDIT IS DUE. Like no, you chose this, man whore, and that includes the guys they reference from the Bible.